Some excellent feedback on my new draft ...

Having started a new Harry Heron story, I am posting sample chapters on a website to get feedback on the story and on the writing standard. So far the comments have been extremely encouraging. Some samples include -

I found this a compelling read, full of detail giving an excellent visual. What is following them? That is the question. Very well written. Worth six stars.

I was happy to find you continuing your story, and you got off with a bang. You have some of the crew at odds with each other, some skullduggery going on with Dr. Palmer, and a strange space ship stalking the Beagle. You have a touch of romance with Harry and Mary Hopkins. And of course I am gratified that you kept the two Irish lads, Ferghal O'Connor and Danny Gunn in the mix. Like that description of Dr. Palmer as a "Blinkered bigot." 

And away she goes. A very interesting first chapter, Pat. I can already see plenty of trouble on the horizon with Dr Palmer around. I think you did an excellent job here and can't wait for the next installment. 

Patrick, I'm thrilled you're continuing Harry's story! You set the stage well in your opening paragraphs. You do a great job of making this all sound authentic/realistic. Excellent use of natural-sounding dialogue. 

Mr. Heron and his Survey team will have the Observation Dome active for the Astro teams, - add comma 

You create tension and suspense well as they discuss this huge thing that keeps appearing on their equipment and then disappearing. And then there's Dr. Palmer and his little cliche. - little clique A poignant closing to this chapter as Harry writes to his old connections and his thoughts drift to home.

Well-penned and exceptional read, as usual, Patrick. Enjoyed the second installment and moving on to number three. One item: You wrote - "His gaze swept the group. Dr. Klonowski, Dr. Abbott, Dr. Knop, perhaps I can leave you to work out the details of the equipment and personnel you need to land ..." 

I liked the way that you used a flashback to show what was discovered in the tunnel. I remembered the mental link that Harry was able to perform from the first part of this story. 

The evacuation and use of the pods was accurate and convincing, exactly what should have and would have been the procedure to prepare for what may prove to be a hostile contact. Good chapter.

I throughly enjoyed this. Great charecter development, good descriptive sentences that clearly give a "picture" of the story, and the storyline itself has a good flow making it easy to follow. This is an exceptional work. Thank you for the read.

The above are extracts from some longer critiques of the first four chapters, all of which are extremely useful in tightening up and polishing my writing. Many of the commentators also provide suggestions for corrections to my typos, punctation and so on. I can't say often enough how much using this approach has improved my overall writing!

OK, so now I have 35k words written. Back to the keyboard, there's another chapter taking shape in my head as I type this ...

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